http://www.yourrant.com

Dating is a joke. What's the point? I had this attitude for so long, I didn't feel I needed another person to validate me, I looked at friends who'd been through heartbreak and failed relationships and I just didn't get it. But then, for the first time in two years, I was stupid enough to let myself fall for someone - I know it's stupid, I barely know him! He's just wonderfully sexy, interesting and seems totally fun! He was lovely in messages, and sweetly ignored it when I said something stupid or made a fool of myself, I thought wow, this guy seems great, even just as a friend (although preferably a friend with benefits? haha), would love to get to know him. Buuuut, I was stupid, I let my guard down, I fell easily for this guy, from just a couple messages! Now I don't know where I am or what to think. He last contacted me almost a week ago, now he's just stopped, he's obviously ignored my message on facebook because I can see he's been on there, and I'm not sure how to take it. I don't think I was too full on, I acted kind and fun and triedddd to avoid telling him how bad I want to screw him, I just ugh dont get it!! I'm not going to go chasing after him, smother him with 'why are you ignoring me?' messages or anything - I just wish that if he's decided he's not interested, he'd damn well tell me! I've no idea whether I should keep my hopes up, keep waiting for that reply, or what. And if I have been rejected, I just don't know how to accept it, because I don't know why! I didn't say anything that meant we couldn't just leave it to chatting occasionally on facebook if he wanted, that doesn't bother me at all, I didn't say it had to be full on or anything he didn't want! I don't know him well enough to just come out and be honest with how I'm feeling, I'm still at the stage where I have to over think everything I say because I'm wanting to give the right impression. He asked me if I wanted to go for a drink in his last reply to me, which was nice (although I reckon I am entirely the one pursuing him rather than the other way around at all) but then it's just..now I'm being ignored! 

I just want to chat! I want to start over, make friends - talk about his interests (I really want to know about his work and the music he likes, it's all stuff that really interests me), learn what he likes to do with his life..I don't want to have lost the chance to know him at all just because he perhaps thinks I'm after a boyfriend or something and so can't just chat to me as a new friend! I mean, who doesn't want to make new friends?? arg, idk, I want to give up on him, but I don't know, I'm needing closure..like a proper rejection rather than just being ignored!