I'm 23 years old and I've never had a job. I've been miserably painting for the last three years, not succeeding because of my lack of skills for painting. I paint to earn money. I haven't sold one. Since I've had no job, I haven't been able to get a licence, let alone a car. I have a resume CD that our family friend currently has and has also seemed to have lost it - it pisses me off because I trusted her with the one thing that could easily have made my way to getting a job, now I have to re do everything all over again because of this. I've asked my parents to kindly take me to a few places to drop this off but it's always a no go. They took my younger sister to places with ease. I'm living far away from a lot of busy places that would probably hire, therefore I can't walk to these places.

I live at home with my parents and I live with my niece (6) and my nephew (2) who live here as well because my older sister had children and is now incapable to take care of them, so we have to..well, I have to. My parents rub it in my face that they have a job and they pay for my sports - which they do - but that's the only thing I've asked for my birthday last year and that's what I got. I slave around the house all day picking up things day and night for them, giving me little time to paint or draw so I can bring in some cash for myself and get the things I need to.

What they seem to forget, is that I get tired too. I do a lot of work around the house and I train really hard in my sports which makes me quite tired at the end of the day. I end up having to stay up until 4 in the morning just to clean everything in the house for when they wake up, then I finally get to sleep, then I get yelled at if I sleep past 12:30. I've helped them and they've been nothing but jerks to me back and I've literally had it. I'm pretty sure that the only reason they're not helping me by driving me to a job is so that they can keep me here for their on beneficial needs. I'm not a mom, I'm not a cook, I'm not a slave. It wouldn't be so bad if they actually payed me for the things I do around the house but they don't.

I don't mind staying at home with them while I have a job because they'll only need to drive me for the first three weeks to the job, after that I'd have my own money to take a taxi there and back. I wouldn't need them to pay for my sports, I wouldn't need them to pay for anything, I'd just pay for it myself and they don't seem to get that. One thing is, I'm sick of the fighting. I'm sick of being caught in the middle of each fight, I'm sick of having to deal with the kids when they're being ignorant or annoying, I'm sick of babysitting them when THEY need suddenly need to do something. I don't ask very much of them.

They also need to realize that in one point in my life - which will be very soon - I'm going to have to move out and do my own thing. I want to be an artist living in Vancouver with my own studio and apartment. I don't want to make it big but I wanna be big enough that people know my name. They're not understanding that either and they're not respecting that. My sister was allowed to go job hunting, she's gotten a job and she's now living with her friend somewhere else. I'm not going to stay here forever, I don't plan to stay here forever. I want to do my own things and that doesn't include living with them. I may sound like a horrible person for this, I may sound as if I don't care for them but I'm not and I do. I never made the choice that the kids should live with me. I knew that the four of us couldn't handle it at all, I knew my younger sister would be moving out soon but knowing them, they insisted. I don't want to be a mom, I never wanted to be a mom, I was only expecting to see them once every week and that's it.

Honestly, I'm sick of it and I am so so done with all of this.